Now this is probably the most lonely and daunting time in your life when your transitioning from teens to adult hood , especially when you have ASD. And there isn’t anything more routine crushing than being told you won’t get help from CYPS anymore but if you need help go to your GP , which doesn’t sound too bad , but they then have to refer you onto someone else & that takes forever , then you have to get to know a new person who doesn’t know you , or how you deal with things & then you go through the trauma again of retelling your story & let’s be honest that isn’t easy , at all. So I’ll tell you how I done it & this might help you or it might not but there’s always someone that might take even one word from you that will change their life.
So I was told at the age of 17 that it was nearly time for adult hood , now a little back story.. if you’ve already read the other posts I have done you’ll know I was only just diagnosed at 17, so your thinking ‘what?’ How are you already being discharged , well I started going to appointments at CYPS at 16 & didn’t get a full diagnosis or help until I was 17 , after 3 different psychologists seen me & I had to repeat everything to each one of them , about 8 months after I was diagnosed I was told that because I was coming up to 18 years old that I would be discharged and any help needed would have to be through my GP and into adult services. My whole body just sank into the chair , a huge black hole , that I seen as adulthood. So as you can imagine I dreaded turning 18 and was not looking forward to being classed as an adult , I didn’t want to retell my story or even go through the struggles I have always done , so when it came to being discharged I just kind of tried to manage my life myself. And I’ll tell you it was hard , I wouldn’t answer the door when a takeaway was delivered , I wouldn’t order my own food at McDonald’s or a restaurant & I relied on my mam a lot. But I was doing my A Levels and had a lot of support from the school which was such a bonus , and I was focused on my life and doing what was best for me , but that wasn’t easy. I cried a lot at night & I didn’t want to leave sixth form because I was comfortable , I felt safe , and I enjoyed it. But reality hit that I had to leave and I couldn’t just stay at home , so I applied to college & started a foundation degree , I decided on the foundation degree because if I didn’t want to do 3 years of university then that was fine I didn’t have to , I could just do 2 and have a level 5 qualification. Which is what I did , I achieved the level 5 in children and young people. I graduated. But the process was difficult , you see I struggle with academic writing , but was too scared to ask for help and support so I would just figure it out I suppose , my lecturer knew I was autistic & specialised in autism so she knew when I was anxious or on edge & she knew when to ask if I needed help , so she was a saviour , that’s when I learnt not to hide it from people who can give me help , yes I hid that I had autism from many people when I was getting older & not because I was ashamed of me but because in this day & age it seems to be funny for people to use ‘your so autistic’ as a insult to their friends , who aren’t autistic. And when you see that happening it makes you feel dirty , like you belong in the gutter , like you should be ashamed of who you are. Anyways , I started to tell more people about having ASD & at first I got some funny looks & some people would just blow it off asif I was lying to them. I just got my head down and focused on my study’s. now during these 2 years I needed a part time job , I had put it off for so long until I was offered a bar job at a caravan site my grandparents lived on , the owners of the site have known me for 16 years so they knew who I was and the struggles I had & decided that they would give me that chance to better myself & I know that not everyone can get something this easy but there are people out there who will give people like us a chance & wont discriminate against us for being who we are. so I done 1 season of working on this bar & then didn’t work for a couple of months , I then got another job at a bar in Alnwick & this was a huge step for me because I didn’t know anyone there so it hit me that I was going to have to be vocal & confident , and I did just that. It was hard going into this specific job , because everyone knew each other there & Alnwick was a while away from where I lived so I wasn’t part of that community , I was looked at like I was just someone to cover when they all wanted to spend time together, anyways that job didn’t last , I left after I got back from my holiday & then wondered for so long what job I could do next , I was still a full time student so needed to have something flexible & not as time consuming. That’s when I went into home care & it wasn’t the field I was studying in , but it helped a lot , I became a lot more independent and I was able to thrive with my confidence , I don’t really want to make this all about my jobs so skip forward a bit I was in home care for about a year before I got a job at the end of my degree in a children’s home , I loved this job when I started and it made me realise that even though I struggled over the previous 3 years I was still able to give myself the most normal lifestyle I possibly could. I have a driving licence , my own car that I bought , an amazing relationship, a stable job & my own home , and honestly it doesn’t seem possible when your in such a dark lonely place but trust me it is so worth the struggle in the end & yes I stop struggle , daily in fact , but that doesn’t stop me & won’t stop me.
I hope this has been some help to some people , I will also try to do a follow up post at some point so keep an eye out ☺️
Me, Myself & My Autism 